The journey of this piece began in late December 2019, as I attempted to process an unshaking feeling of immense impending loss. Loosely inspired by the colors and spirit of Henry Gorecki’s Symphony of Sorrowful Songs, I felt as though I needed to better understand my experience with grief, and to prepare for a period of great trials. Little did I know that the COVID-19 Pandemic would start a short time later, in addition to the upheaval in race relations within the increasingly less “United” States, and my own personal losses due to the gun violence epidemic.

 

The early texture of the piece reflects the season of winter, with sparse melodic activity mirroring the perceived absence of color and life after the changing of leaves in fall. As the piece continues, it evolves through two more settings that I hope will help all who engage with it to process their own grief from the events of the past few years. If I were to offer a message of prayer, let it be that we learn to not hide our sorrow from loss, and instead recognize grief as a necessary part of the process for growth; may we leave behind what does not serve our future while also being thankful for all that has come before.

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This recording was from a live 2022 performance in São Paulo, Brazil by the Sphinx Virtuosi. I am very grateful to each of the musicians and to the Sphinx Organization as a whole for helping to realize this piece and spread its message.